So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
just found out that she named her cat after me.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
