Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
how does that bad decision feel?
Randomize
