i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
So here I am, sexting at work.
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
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