We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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