I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
Randomize
