Your mouth is God's brothel.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Randomize
