Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i dont even know how to be here
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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