oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Randomize
