I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
