im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I just want this to serve as a reminder in the morning that the topic of conversation at last call was the penis size of jesus.
Randomize
