I want to have your abortion
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
