batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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