Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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