my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
