Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He sprained his penis one time
He was "naked wrestling" and fell off the couch and landed on his erect penis
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
