That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
