I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
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