i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
