based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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