Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
