His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
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