There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
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