jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
