I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
Houston, we have a squirter
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Randomize
