I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
