roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
