is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
