the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
