can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
trust me, you don't know shame until you're in a peacock costume getting CPR by random dudes
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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