I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
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