i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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