Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You need Jesus. Or a midol and a snickers. Whichever.
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Randomize
