omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
