I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
