worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
