If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
