That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
we have pet lesbian snakes
i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
