I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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