i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
