Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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