She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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