I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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