You can't special order awesome
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
