maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
did i just pee glitter
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
