Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
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