if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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