im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
im drinking this country out of the recession.
I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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