she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
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