addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
