...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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