just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
