my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
