i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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