this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize