Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Randomize
