It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
