She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Randomize
