the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
It's raining beautiful colors and I don't know what the fuck is going on
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
