I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
